How Germany Has Changed Me (Part 2)

Those of you who regularly follow my blog might remember this post from 2014. Well, now I have a new list of habits which I have adopted while living among the Germans.

  1. Gone are the days of me saying ‘Ouch’ when I hurt myself. Now, I say ‘Aua’.
  2. Scheiße

    Scheiße

    My favorite works-in-every-situation expletive is Scheiße.

  3. I play the innocent and clueless brown foreigner who speaks bad German card whenever I’m in a bind. Works like a charm every time, because Germans are polite and helpful people. Now I feel guilty.
  4. I shoot dirty looks at people crossing the road when the pedestrian signal is red. I have still not quite made the transition of yelling at them though I fear it’ll happen soon.
  5. Even though my German is really bad, I tend to confuse words and start remembering German words when talking in English to people from the Indian Subcontinent. This is the weirdest thing for me.
  6. I do not stand in the supermarket aisle and talk to random people, and find it surprising when others do.
  7. The only time I say hello to strangers is when I enter a waiting room full of people. And then I say it more to the room than to the humans in it, because human contact needs to be avoided at all costs.
  8. I stare straight ahead of me when in an elevator.
  9. My word for goodbye has been categorized by age group: Tschüss for the older people, Ciao for the younger ones. But every so often I whip out a Wiedersehen to keep things interesting.
  10. I am very troubled when people try to get on public transportation before the ones inside have gotten out and wonder whether society is close to collapsing.
  11. Oh yeah. German cake is freaking awesome.

    Oh yeah. German cake is freaking awesome.

    I dabble in the German custom of Kaffee und Kuchen in the name of integration, even though its really for the cake.

  12. Even though I don’t drink much coffee, I drink it German style when I do. (Pakistani coffee is of a much tamer variety; more like milk with a bit of coffee.)
  13. What do we want? Food! Where do we want it? IKEA!

    What do we want? Food!
    Where do we want it? IKEA!

    Like many Germans, I too have aimlessly drifted around a humongous IKEA, only to end up at the restaurant and going home.

  14. I have grown accustomed to the presence of pets around me when I go into public transportation or the city center…
  15. …which, by the way, I call City now.
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5 thoughts on “How Germany Has Changed Me (Part 2)

  1. Please, please don’t change! The things you wrote, are compleately right, but I stopped at the “human contact has to be avoided at all costs”. Please Germans need so much that someone comes and “defrosts” them. They wait so much for it and they don’t even recognize. Europe has become so much uniform and it’s a pity. Greeks got the same look than Germans and everybody keeps cool distance. The only rescue left are people from far away, yet not so spoiled with the virus of atomism (everybody for his own party) countries to save us from this lonely life!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ha ha, I love this! So funny and I’m already starting to do several of these things! Scheisse is always the first word that springs to my mind too – and I’m surprised when other people jaywalk 🙂 I think it’s probably easier to chat to random people in Berlin though – that’s what I like about it 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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