Like every country, Germany has it’s share of weird celebrities as well. In this post, I will list the worst 10 German celebrities in no particular order. I just equally hate all of them and can’t stand most of them being on screen in the same room as me. It goes without saying that this all just my opinion and many of these celebrities have fans.
Stefan Raab is that guy who’s always somehow getting his own shows to the point of being really annoying. He started his career in the 1990s with a comedy music show and later went on to have his own show where he does satire.
Problem is, Germany is a small country with a limited supply of targets for Raab’s satire so his show got really old at some point. But lo and behold, he somehow managed to get that marathon of a show called Schlag den Raab (Raab’s Challenge) which he hosts and which runs for hours and hours. I mentioned this show in my post on German TV. Stefan Raab has also snaked his way into Germany’s Eurovision Song Contest bids and has managed to produce some really crappy performances – one with himself singing and another which won but sounded dull – from it. I find Stefan Raab to be really full of himself. He can’t even gather some fake humility from somewhere deep inside of him for television!
For those of you paying attention, I mentioned Jürgen Drews in my post on German Schlager singers. Well, let me tell you, this guy is annoying as heck. He fancies himself the König von Mallorca (King of Mallorca) and often appears on TV singing songs with lyrics even a 5 year old wouldn’t write. In these concerts, he often appears in robes and wearing a crown. What really dumbfounds me is the amount of fans the guy has in his concerts. I’m like, Germans wake up! He’s destroying your culture before your very eyes.
Thomas Gottschalk is known for his outlandishly colorful clothing and is best (in my opinion, worst) known for being the longtime host of the show Wetten dass…? (Wanna bet…?). The concept of the show is in this post. Gottschalk is, however, quite clingy. Physically clingy. He likes to touch people a lot. Whether he gets some kick out of it, I could not tell you. But it has freaked out a lot of celebrities over the years. Some even walked away from the show vowing not to come back. His choice of outfits is also somewhat bizarre at times, from checkerboard suits to shiny golden ones, he’s covered all his bases on Wetten dass…? Gottschalk too retains a big fan following in Germany which makes me wonder if I’m the mad party here. There’s a pattern emerging…
Til (short for Tilman) Schweiger is a German movie actor. He got his big break in 1991 with the release of the acclaimed action comedy Manta, Manta. He has since starred in many German and Hollywood movies such as Keinohrhasen, Zweiohrküken, Kokowääh and Inglorious Basterds. But while some of Til’s movies are nice, he himself has an annoying personality which is visible in every role he plays. While watching a movie, he strikes me as this egoistic guy who is also incredibly whiny. His voice can get really annoying, really fast. Take my advice Til, and tone your personality down a notch.
Markus Lanz took over when Thomas Gottschalk left Wetten Dass…? after a tragic on-set accident. The show didn’t last very long afterwards and Lanz was very much responsible for the downturn in the ratings. The show had aired since 1987 and had to be canceled after 12 episodes with Markus Lanz. Since 2009, he has a show on a German network which airs three times a week. For me, the freakiest Markus Lanz moment came when a Berlin coroner was invited on the show. The coroner had written a book about his job and had come on the show to promote it. Apparently, Lanz has a thing with dead bodies. Apparently, they freak him out some. In the beginning of the interview, Lanz kept fixedly staring at the coroner’s hand. He eventually interrupted him and remarked on how weird it was that those hands had touched dead people. After a series of awkward moments, the coroner rescued the interview by avoiding the topic of death. That’s no mean feat mind you, considering his profession.
Thank God Karl Lagerfeld isn’t on TV that much. The guy reminds me of a corpse with sunglasses. I’m not sure if he was ever young and ever without sunglasses. Karl Lagerfeld has so many controversies to his name, he might merit a Wikipedia article only about his controversies. Suffice it to say he’s weird, he’s a fashion designer, he’s old and he doesn’t like the sun.
For those of you who have seen Germany’s Next Top Model (I swear I watch because of the hot girls!), Jorge Gonzales must be a familiar and creepy site. Originally from Cuba, Jorge got German citizenship in 2011. First of all, due to his Cuban accent, I can’t properly understand his German. Secondly, I just can’t describe how annoyed I am when he comes on screen. I must say, though, that he rocks high heels like no woman ever could.
Boris Becker is former German tennis player and Olympian who is more famous for his feats off the court than on. Even though Becker had a stellar career in tennis, after retirement things got a little strange. After numerous faux pas and scandals (both sexual and non), Boris got a reputation as someone yearning for attention; any attention, no matter good or bad. He tries his best to get in front of the camera. Only problem is, what he has to say once he’s on camera makes him sound like he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed.
And we’re back to the crazy world of fashion. If botox had it’s own models, Harald Glööckler would be a supermodel. There is more chemical in that guy’s face than face. And when he manages to open his mouth, unintelligent words come out. In short, this blogger ain’t a Glööckler fan. The only real claim to fame Glööckler has is being so weird that he formed the inspiration for Sacha Baron Cohen’s character Brüno.
Dieter Bohlen will remind you of that slick, blonde, tanned villain with a German accent from the 1990s. At least he reminds me of such characters. He tries – unsuccessfully – to play the role of Simon Cowell on the German show Deutschland sucht den Superstar (Germany Searches for a Super Star) and Das Talent which is Germany’s version of Britain’s Got Talent.